The truth is that over the past few months of my diagnosis, I have received such clarity along the way. Basically God, The Universe, Angels, Spirit, My Matty have made my path very clear for me. I have complete faith in myself and in my awareness that I am doing what is right for my body, mind, heart and soul in taking the holistic route to heal! Not everyone agrees and that is ok, there are a lot of questions coming my way, some I am able to answer and others I just can’t, not because I don’t know the answer but because taking this route, it is very important to protect and conserve my energy. The body is truly a beautiful gift, the body creates “dis- ease” to show us we are doing something wrong. I was absolutely doing everything wrong and had an enormous amount of stress in my life. Cancer AKA “Patience” for me is a wake up call! There are days that the doubtful thoughts creep in and my mind tries to sabotage me into taking the more “conventional” route, but with all my appointments and all of my own research my heart knows what is best for my body.
Normally I share my findings and feelings in a video. This time it was best for me to write my thoughts so that I offer all of the information possible from my last oncologists appointment, two weeks ago. I hadn’t spoken to my oncologist in almost two months and was eager to get an ultra sound to see if there had been any changes, since my diagnosis on Jan 10, 2019. Before heading into my appointment I prayed and meditated asking God, The Universe, Angels, Spirit, My Matty for evidence that I am indeed taking the right path for myself. I did in fact receive all of the evidence that I needed. This whole experience for me has been full of MAGIC!
For all of those skeptics thinking, “ She lives in La-La Land,” La-La Land works for me!
As I sat in the waiting room with “My Breastie, Lorraine,” the ultrasound tech (who did my original ultrasound,) came to get me! I didn’t feel nervous, I felt a complete calm come over me like something amazing was about to happen. Thank goodness Lorraine was with me to witness the insanity aka MAGIC of what happened next.
My breasts exposed and ready for their close up, the ultrasound tech worked her way around my left Breast and on the screen there was “Patience!” Before any of us said anything, the ultrasound tech said, “ OH WOW!” She couldn’t help her reaction and thank God, The Universe, Angels, Spirit, My Matty for that moment. Both Lorraine and I asked at the exact same time, “ is that a good wow?” Her response was, “ that’s what it looks like, and what ever you are doing seems to be working!!” She proceeded to show us the areas of “Patience” that had changed, showing liquid pockets through out the mass indicating dying cancer cells!! Although the ultrasound tech is not the radiologist or the oncologist, the woman does this every damn day! She looks at women’s breasts takes images of tumors, so for her to have that reaction and say anything at all was the evidence that I needed from the moment that my appointment started. MAGIC!!
I have mentioned through some of my other posts and videos on my social platforms that I feel “Patience,” physically I can grab the area and I can feel the changes. Let me tell you, depending on what I have going on during any given day “Patience” has a personality and takes on different textures and forms.
Waiting to see my oncologist I was looking forward to hearing her reaction to the changes.
This is where my post will get controversial, this is where those who believe more in science and conventional medicine will want to share their opinions and tell me I am wrong! I will give you this disclaimer now, you can have your thoughts and opinions they are none of my business! They won’t change my mind or my heart! I am sharing this information (because, that is what it is information from my experience) in hope that when you one day sit with your Doctor you too will have some awareness of self and your surroundings and will be able to make the best choice for your own health!!
My Doctor came into the room and said she didn’t have good news! She said that “Patience” had grown.
(I feel the change; the area has expanded because it is becoming surrounded by fluid, which will begin to break down as my immune system continues to heal the area.)
Digesting this information I took a second, as my DR sat in a chair in front of me, with no charts or images to show me! I took notice of this immediately, she was telling me something that was totally opposite from my experience just minutes before with my ultrasound tech! So what did I do?? I pulled out my phone and showed her the images I took of the screen of the ultrasound and asked her to explain. I asked her if there were liquid pockets and dead cancer cells.
She explained that “Patience” was beginning to become surrounded by Necrotic Tissue…. DEAD CANCER CELLS! My response to this was, “well do you think maybe all of the holistic approaches I am taking might be causing this change?” I continued to list all of my modalities, Reiki, Sugar Free, Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Plant Based Diet, Acupuncture, Therapy, Exercise, Infrared Sauna, BEMER Therapy, Cryo Therapy, Chakra Healing, and Meriden Clearing!! AND I have lost 45 unhealthy pounds with all of my hard work and healing efforts. Her response was that she could not speak on any of my methods, as she is unaware of the benefits. This is my favorite part of the appointment though; get ready for it, my Doctor said to me in these words,
“M- Elissa, you didn’t lose 45lbs because of your diet, you lost 45lbs because you have cancer!”
Let’s sit with that for one minute.
I am not sharing this to throw anyone under the bus or to make anyone look bad; it is actually comical and serious at the same time.
Number #1, when your Doctor is talking to you about your life and your health, they better know your name and how to say it right! Granted lots of people get my name wrong all of the time, but M- Elissa is far off and I have known this person for months.
Number #2 if I didn’t have a cancer diagnosis and I gave up alcohol, sugar, gluten, dairy, meat and started exercising regularly I would lose 45 + lbs and everyone would praise me for being so committed to my health. I am 5’2 and I am still now 15lbs over weight for my height!
So at that moment I again recognized the MAGIC, I asked for evidence that I am on the right path and that right there was more of the evidence I asked for.
Also I want to add, in this appointment, I felt that my DR is “so busy” too busy to spend the time to hear me and learn with me. Most DR’s see their patients, see their scans, decide on a game plan according to the statistics and off they go to the races. Not taking into account that each patient is different, blood type, body type, emotional traumas, physical appearance, we are all snowflakes. What works for one person may not work for another!
In this appointment with my DR, I didn’t correct her getting my name wrong and because I didn’t correct her she called me “M-Elissa” a few more times, telling me that chemo and aggressive surgery was the only way for me to treat this diagnosis. I don’t blame her because that is what she knows, that is what she studied and that is what she practices everyday.
Just because that’s her opinion does not mean it is right for me!! The only good thing she did share with me, is that the ultrasound showed no signs of spreading, “Patience” is still very much localized and there is no signs that my lymph nodes have been effected, also she said, “there is still a window.” I’m still only stage two, triple negative, BRAC 1 on my way to healing!
Lorraine and I walked out of that appointment as if we had left a comedy show, we laughed at the experience asking each other, “WTF just happened in there!” CLARITY is what happened, EVIDENCE is what happened!
If that wasn’t enough, one more incredible moment showed up for me, as we started our drive home an hour and half we realized we were starving!! Yes STARVING, if I was losing weight because of cancer I wouldn’t have an appetite and this girl loves her FOOD & LOVES to EAT!
In my head, I knew where we would eat, an organic spot I rarely go to, heading there on the drive, my intuition kicked in and a thought popped into my head to change my restaurant choice.
I took a different exit and picked a different restaurant entirely, farm to table, garden terrace and surrounded by plants. Lorraine and I recapped the appointment in disbelief as we enjoyed our lunch. I said to Lorraine, “I just want one more sign, one more thing to show me that I am doing what is right!”
With in minutes of that request, the hostess walked through the dinning area and following her was my therapist!!!!
MY amazing therapist is whom I spend the most time with and she helps me deeply through all of my emotional baggage. The crazy part is that at the same time, on the same day, we both picked the same place to eat lunch. She lives 45mins from this restaurant and I live 20mins from this restaurant and I went there on a last minute gut feeling after my appointment.
I don’t believe in coincidence, I believe that God, The Universe, Angels, Spirit, My Matty are showing me the way, showing me that I am supported and putting the right people in my life to help me heal.
For some people this story won’t be enough, some people will want more statistics, facts and answers. This is what I got, that’s why this is my story; my story is beautiful and full of Magic. I hope that you will also find some magic in your life from me sharing my journey.