I believe that there is a plan for all of us! Not all of us listen to the signs and guidance that try to lead us there. We resist, we argue, we rationalize, we talk ourselves out of things because we worry about other people and their opinions. We have one LIFE, that we remember, anyway! This life is so precious, the choices we make, who we choose to have in our lives, the kind of experiences we engage in, the way we react in situations, all play a huge roll. This last year (two years actually) has taught me to REALLY listen to the inner wisdom, to experience life at complete capacity and be grateful for every second and moment. WOW the lessons have been REAL!
So the question is, just two weeks off Post Surgery, how am I feeling? (So many of you have reached out to ask.) I am feeling so many things!
Let me walk you through the last couple weeks of My Conscious Healing Journey.
I woke up on Surgery day feeling so calm (weirdly enough), going about my morning routine of an Epsom Salt Bath filled with Honest Brand Bubbles, an 8 Minute Bemer Session, Castor Oil Breast Massage, Journaling & Reflection and a one hour guided meditation by Dr. Joe Dispenza. To lock it all in, I listened to Matty’s (refer to previous blog post My Matty) voice reading a chapter to me from his Audio Book, My Secret to Conscious Living. In my meditation I got to a place of complete peace and felt a presence of golden light wrapped around me, with this came a feeling of safety and protection, there was a sense of God and Matty was so close I could almost reach out and touch him. This place of peace wasn’t just for me, the light also came to surround my DR’s and my nurses who were preparing to care for me while performing my surgery! I gave my “tumor” AKA “Patience” permission to let go. I assured my mass that I have learned the lessons and see my vision of my future so clearly, acknowledging with gratitude that this has been the biggest wakeup call of my life.
On a typically normal day, I would also make myself a green juice and take my numerous supplements, because I had fasted for 48 hours pre- surgery (Fasting starves Cancer and helps generate brand new cells that help to heal broken ones, fasting is also required pre- procedure) I did not indulge in my daily nutrients. It took me months to get to this day and the knowing inside of myself gave me the confidence that all of the risks would not apply to my situation. I mean, I have spent months in preparation, with a thoughtful, mostly plant- based diet being my main source for healing and one of the most effective parts of my journey.
The vibe was chill, there were minimal people, it actually felt like the whole space had been reserved VIP style just for me. The process for pre- op was easy, I met all of my Dr’s and Nurses, they answered all of my questions, suited me up, explained the process and timeline, they were all very open and aware of my methods. Then just like that it was time, my whole team escorted me into the very sterile operating room, instructing me to get up on the bed, (which was more like a soft table.) One of the nurses expressed her interest in essential oils and shared her wish to have a diffuser running during the procedure. I had brought my sage with my hope of cleansing all negative energy away, but I was told that this was not with in the hospital guidelines. Can’t blame a girl for trying! I did sage at home before leaving for the hospital!
Before I knew it, Dr. Helen Pass my, brilliant, open hearted, smart surgeon took my hand and said, “Where are you going to go?” My response to her was, “To see Matty!” Then within seconds I was gone. I remember nothing!! To me the loss of control and surrender in those 2.5 hours, giving the Dr’s and Nurses full trust, has been the hardest part of recovery for me post -op! (I will explain as I share more of my experience in this post.)
All of a sudden, my eyes popped open and standing above me was a nurse looking down, before she could say a word, my mouth opened to “boss” her to go get LO- My Breastie. She immediately rushed to accommodate my request. As LO approached, it was a foggy haze with my vision and my comprehension! When My Breastie got closer she asked, “How are you feeling?” That’s when it hit me, tears streamed down my face, emotions filled up my body and I responded with the word, “SAD!” I have spent the last two weeks unpacking the sadness that I felt!
Part of the process of my journey has been to really recognize my emotions as they come. I have committed myself, in taking time to get to the ROOT of anything that sparks discomfort, really looking at WHY the emotions bubble to the surface!! From my experience because this has become a practice of mine, my body has responded to healing more quickly. My body is able to communicate with me more effectively when my emotions aren’t getting in the way! What do I mean by this? Well, you know how when you get angry, you might get hot inside, your skin might get blotchy, your stomach turns, your muscles tense up, just a few examples. These are symptoms of your body communicating. All of these symptoms effect the nervous system, cellular regeneration and eventually cause discomfort on a genetic level like; Dis- Ease! Our cells in our bodies have memory, if our cells remember to be tense and angry versus happy and relaxed, what kind of cells are being created? Our body regenerates cells basically at the speed of lighting! That’s very fast, so since our cells regenerate that quickly wouldn’t it be amazing if all of our cells were HAPPY CELLS? (We have more control over this then we think!)
So…. I have dedicated myself to truly listening to my body and my emotions, to allow my body the ability to recover faster. In return my body responds to me by showing me ways that it is healing. Keep Reading….
Quick like a bunny, I was dressed and on my way home. The total Tully Center Surgery experience lasted a total of 5.5 hours. So fast. The days that followed were full of rest, visitors, flowers, yummy green juices, bone broth, roasted veggies, blueberries, raw almonds and obviously Netflix. (I watched The Game Changers, if you’re interested in knowing more about the benefits of being plant-based this is a great place to start!) I also journaled and revisited my “Wake Up Post – Surgery” feeling of Sadness.
My whole life I have tried very hard to be in control, to the point where I would try and control every circumstance and even person in my life. Feeling in “Control” has had many benefits, because it has gotten me this far in life, on my own terms. It also means that I have a hard time, “Letting Go & Surrendering.” A pattern of mine over my adult existence has been to obsess, react, want, demand, search for validation outside myself, dwell and play out the situation before it has even happened, projecting and predicting. NOW…. I am able to be more often in the moment; I can allow myself to FLOW more easily! Those patterns sometimes surface, and I catch them before they turn into something more serious.
Thank goodness, because I am a much more chill human being and have been able to slow down significantly, which has been really amazing for my healing.
What came up for me; I was sad because for 2.5 hours of surgery I had to give up complete control of my life to my surgeon! My Conscious Healing has been built on the foundation that I call the shots. I listen to the facts; I listen to my heart and I make a choice based on what is best for ONLY ME!! In that 2.5 hours it was pitch black; I woke up from surgery wanting to remember something. Anything! Conversations around me, the surgery itself, My Angel Matty and me riding a cloud through the sky where he would show me a piece of Heaven, a dream of “the one” I love dancing with me under the light of the Full Moon….. but there was nothing!! This realization made me feel so sad and almost empty inside. It was also a major release. I woke up and I was ok! With this was the reality that “Patience” was gone. My doctor took her out, a piece of me that I had grown used to nurturing for almost a full year! What comes after surgery, more unknown, more waiting for test results, more questions, more research. I have gotten so used to my new and improved lifestyle, who am I now that “Patience” is gone. This all fueled the feeling of sadness. Then just like that the sadness was gone and relief set in!
It takes 10 days to get a pathology report back, so I made the best use of that time, continuing to work on myself, resting has been key! (I have not been a great rester, I like to mingle more then rest!) I must say resting feels so darn good and napping is my new go-to!
The results are in, and what do they show? I am completely Cancer Free (YES YOU READ IT and I WROTE IT!) , my margins are clear, there is no cancer in any other parts of my body shown by my previous pre- surgery scans, my blood work is that of someone who is in PERFECT health, no cancer markers at all! My breast is looking amazing, because of the location of the incision my breast and nipple look completely normal and I have all sensation. I did NOT take any pain medicine post or pre surgery; I have had minimal discomfort and have been using my supplements and homeopathic remedies like Arnica Montana, Frankincense by Doterra & Calendula to give my body what it needs to heal! Before I know it my scar will be just a line and a gentle reminder to stay the course.
AND if that isn’t amazing enough, the final pathology shows that when the Dr’s cut into “Patience” she was full of DEAD Cancer Cells! This means there was no blood flow feeding “Patience.” (AKA- Sugar, Stress, Toxins, Hormones, Chemicals created by my body) “Patience” had nowhere to go and I do believe eventually if I had of continued on my path, my body would have been strong enough to break down all of the Cancer Cells and filter them through my blood & lymphatic system into my Liver and right out into the toilet, or through my sweat!
With this said, I am so grateful, that I did go through with the surgery, I have the peace of mind and heart of knowing exactly what “Patience” was doing inside my body. (Deep in my heart I always knew!)
Also, I AM PROOF that because I completely changed EVERYTHING in my life, my body changed too! I believed in myself and instead of listening to the “Standard” of care, I decided to create my own prescription for Cancer, and it is working for me, there is no arguing about it. If you are reading this and you take something away from my experience, I hope that you will take away that “YOU” have the “POWER!” You get to decide what’s best and make choices that will benefit ONLY YOU, no matter what anyone else believes! You do not have to SUFFER, you can live well and healthy! In sharing my story I really do hope that I will provide some valuable information, that will create some conversations and questions when it comes to alternative health care!
There are so many success stories of people who have been told that they are terminal, who go on to live many long and healthy years with alternative options. (PLEASE READ RADICAL REMISSION.) Meditation & Nutrition being the top modalities and truly the easiest. This jouney isn’t over for me, yes, I am Cancer Free! This means I am a head of it now, it means that I still have to practice being a better version of myself every single day, it means I still get my High Dose Vitamin C IV’s, I still go to yoga, the infrared sauna, my Doctor visits, I still eat a clean diet, take my supplements, do coffee enemas, I still rest, go to acupuncture and reiki, I still have to do everything that I have been doing. Now I do it all to maintain my health to keep all of my cells happy ones and keep my genetic makeup a sleep forever, not because I am trying to heal cancer because I am staying healthy and strong!! Now that is a HUGE relief!! I hope you feel inspired after reading this and know in your heart that anything you want to achieve is also possible!